So they say the music industry is one of the hardest industries to get into. ::TRUTH::
It's one of the most competitive. Well this is blog is dedicated to my journey to the top.
For as long I can remember I have been singing and writing my own songs. It has been a part of me since I was 4 years old. I always loved to entertain. To be in the spot light. To be NUMBER ONE.
As a child, my neighbor and I would put on shows at family gatherings, singing and dancing to Debbie Gibson. I was obsessed with Debbie Gibson. I also had a lot of admiration for Madonna. Mostly because my mother was a huge Madonna fan. We used to blast Madonna in the car and sing our hearts out wherever we would go. My mother also introduced me to who is now my idol, Mariah Carey. Marey Carey's album "Mariah Carey" was the very first CD I ever owned. It wasn't long before I added to my collection with other albums by Mariah. I was a fan from the moment I heard her belt out that 8th octave note. It was pure magic to my ears. Her range, her beauty, it was everything I wanted to be and more!
Somewhere along the lines as I got older I lost my drive. I didn't want to be the center of attention anymore. I didn't feel that I was good enough, pretty enough, or thin enough! As I grew into my adolecent years I developed a weight problem. I want to say it started once my parents got divorced. I became very self conscious. I was teased in school a lot and became a hermit. I didnt want any attention at all! All I wanted was to be left alone. I would cry myself to sleep at night because of the pain I felt and I would eat myself into comfort. Highschool was WORSE than elementry school. As I got older my peers got crueler.
All I would dream about was being thin. Being beautiful. Being able to sing on stage and be idolized!
My dreams of being a singer were crushed. I thought to myself, "Who wants to watch an ugly acne faced fat girl sing on stage? NO ONE!" I was discouraged.
I started to put all that negative energy into writing music. I filled my notebooks with half written songs. Songs that I still have to this very day that have yet to be finished. The pages filled but my heart was still not content. I needed to be heard. I wanted people to know how badly they hurt me. I hated myself for years!
After highschool I became determined. I told myself I was going to change. I put myself on a very strict diet and joined a gym. Slowly I began to see results. I would go to the gym twice a day sometimes. It was not a quick process however. I would go on and off my diet all the time. It took me a good 4 years to finally reach a place where I was content. As the weight dropped I started to feel better and better about myself, but from time to time I would still see that overweight desperate girl inside. I had to stay focused and think about WHY I was pushing myself so hard. I wanted to be on stage! I wanted to be an entertainer again! I wanted to be heard! But more so than anything, I wanted to be loved.
Now I am 27 years old. I've lost a total of 75lbs and I had a tummy tuck and a breast lift. I've gone the distance to chase my dreams and it doesn't stop there. Everyday is a constant battle with myself. Its pretty much a love hate relationship, but I think I'm finally at a place where I feel confident enough to share what I have to offer to the world through my music. It takes a lot to get up in front of people and show them the most vulnerabe sides of you. Most people start their career in music at such a young age that sometimes I feel as if its too late for me. What i've learned over the years though, is that music speaks for itself. It doesn't necessarity matter what you look like and where you came from. Music is from the heart. And that was a lesson that took me years to learn. So here I go- Out to chase my dreams and become the shining star that I always knew I was deep down... I hope you all enjoyed getting to know a bit of where I came from. My mother always told me that I was like a ray of light. That I could walk into a room and just my presence would light it up. Thats where the name Raia came from. I want to light up the world. The music industry needs a change. I hope to someday be that change. That ray of light that seems to be missing in the music industry these days.... Stay tuned!!!! 8) xoxo
To hear my #1 song "On My Own" check out my myspace music page at www.myspace.com/upcomer84
